putterings       515   <   516   >   517       index

a puttering, something-broken-in-the works existence; shadow of a machine
 

      But whatever you do, don’t forfeit your calling... Don’t give up and bury your talent. To do so is to choose a puttering, something-broken-in-the works existence.
 

ex a discussion of the failure of T. E. Lawrence, his forfeiture of his identity, following disillusionment after his desert exploits, and his subsequent life of obscurity under an adopted name — “an empty man who spent his time puttering as if ‘there is something broken in the works . . . my will I think.’”
ex chapter 13 “When You’re All Alone and Blue,” in Stanley C. Baldwin, Bruised But Not Broken (1985) : 173
borrowable at archive.org : link

—

more, from the same —

      “Concerning his choice to become an obscure enlisted man, Lawrence had once said, ‘I do it in order to serve a mechanical purpose, not as a leader, but as a shadow of a machine. . . . It is a blessing to be only a part of a machine.’
      To bear limited responsibility, to become an anonymous cog in an impersonal machine — it seemed wonderful to Lawrence. By biblical standards it was a tragedy...”
 

2 February 2025